Boyhood Heroes

by The Jangleberries

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about

The alarm went off every day at six thirty, but The Jangleberries used to get up at exactly the same time every morning: 7:52. No earlier, no later, and always alone. In between was the only time a young secretary got to think.

Could Carol Vorderman help you claim your tax? What if you asked her, just like the Beatles, but she answered with a consonant and then a vowel? I humbly suggest that you would never get over it, and you must admit that she could have been prime minister if she hadn't grown up to be terribly right wing. You hear a voice, but refuse to stir.

A friend of mine was writing a headline for the newspaper, and I said "you need a bigger space between Births and and and and and Deaths, and Deaths and and and and and marriages". He said I was mistaken, but it was still five "ands" in a row, twice, with an extra "and" for good measure. You roll over in bed and smile.

Most vegans are lovely, but when needs must, how do you insult an evil vegan? "You silly sausage" and "you haven't even got a pork shoulder to cry on" are both too hard to digest. Perhaps you could scare them off with crackers and cheese, but not until later.

Hold your ironing boards! It surely can't be that time already? When you least expect it, you rise towards the sun you have always loved, where a new day and a toothbrush beckon. See you at the sink.

Yours with love as ever,

The Jangleberries

who wish to thank (Top of the Pops with): Ben Garnett, Derek Leinweber, Monsieur Blanc, Claus Frolich, Gus Honeybun and His Announcer, John Bercow, Carol Vorderman, unknown Countdown contestant of genius, Patrick McGoohan, all at the Cornish Times, Ruffles, Top Cat, and their brother and their sister and their mum and their dad.

credits

released January 14, 2017

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about

The Jangleberries Adelaide, Australia

The Jangleberries are an offshoot of the English indie pop band Roadside Poppies. The band formed in Adelaide in 2014.

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Track Name: 7:52
She calls for radon as the china clay train leaves
I wake up from a dream which later nobody believes
I hear a goblin burbling through my bedroom wall
I swear sometimes I get no sleep at all

Good morning! Good morning!
7:52
Good morning! Good morning!
7:52

I rise eight minutes earlier now I'm old enough to shave
Every week I wake up one week closer to the grave
"How many balls has Hitler?" whistles Christmas in my head
Every day the same until I'm dead, oh yeah!

Good morning! Good morning!
7:52
Good morning! Good morning!
7:52
Track Name: Boyhood Heroes
Geoff Crammond and Ronnie Corbett
Johnny Ball and David Stewart
Jean Alesi and Johnny Herbert
David Braben and Malcolm Barnecutt

Are all my boyhood heroes
All my boyhood heroes

Warren Clarke and Colin Buchanan
Martin Short and Neil Hannon
Dennis Taylor and Kyle MacLachlan
Jack Klugman and Patrick McGoohan, PATRICK McGOOHAN! PATRICK McGOOHAN!!

Are all my boyhood heroes
All my boyhood heroes
All my boyhood heroes
Are all my boyhood heroes

All the people that I like
Are like the people that I like
And all the people that I like
Like the people that I like

And my brother and my sister and my mum and my dad
My brother and my sister and my mum and my dad
My brother and my sister and my mum and my dad
My brother and my sister and my mum and my dad
My brother and my sister and my mum and my dad
My brother and my sister and my mum and my dad
My brother and my sister and my mum and my dad
My brother and my sister and my mum and my dad
Track Name: Births and Deaths and Marriages
Add them to the Christmas list
Births and deaths and marriages
Births and deaths and marriages
Are coming round again

Reg has passed away
Maureen didn't say
When I saw her yesterday
Though she was looking grey...

Friday with the Cornish Times
Smudging ink and drawing lines

Strike them off the Christmas list
Births and deaths and marriages
Births and deaths and marriages
Are coming round again

Maureen's doing fine
I saw her in the Carlton
With Jim from number 9
He doesn't waste much time...

Friday with the Cornish Times
Smudging ink and drawing lines

Move them on the Christmas list
Births and deaths and marriages
Births and deaths and marriages
Are coming round again

Happy to report
Seven pounds and nought
Now the trousers that you bought
Already seem too short...

Friday with the Cornish Times
Smudging ink and marking time

Add them to the Christmas list
Births and deaths and marriages
Births and deaths and marriages
Are coming round again
Write them on the Christmas list
Births and deaths and marriages
Births and deaths and marriages
Are coming round again
Track Name: Just Like the Beatles
Yesterday I woke at ten
Went to town came home again
Played some records with my friends
Just like the Beatles

I boiled the kettle endlessly
Listened to the BBC
Then I dunked my biscuits in my tea
Just like the Beatles

So girl, whatever you see in them, see in me
Yeah girl, whatever you see in them, see in me

Yesterday I cut my hair
The mop top makes me look less square
An old man told me what to wear
Just like the Beatles

I bought myself a sharp black suit
Got a pair of chelsea boots
My sister says I look real cute
Just like the Beatles

So girl, whatever you see in them, see in me
Yeah girl, whatever you see in them, see in me

I've never witnessed a girl so fair
Yes I feel bigger than Jesus when I see her standing there
God if you're listening, answer my prayer

So baby later if you find
You look at me and change your mind
I'll take you out and treat you kind
Just like the Beatles

So girl, whatever you see in them, see in me
Yeah girl, whatever you see in them, see in me
Oh girl, whatever you see in them, see in me
Yeah girl, whatever you see in them, see in me
Track Name: Crackers and Cheese
I am my own personal Jeeves
Stiff upper lip, with a heart on both sleeves
When the world brings me to my knees
When the world brings me to my knees

I say slippers, dressing gown, crackers and cheese
Slippers, dressing gown, crackers and cheese

I am an easy man to please
Thank you, for putting me at ease
When the world brought me to my knees
When the world it brought me to my knees

Slippers, dressing gown, crackers and cheese
Slippers, dressing gown, crackers and cheese
If you please

Speaking words of wisdom, let it brie, oh yeah
Speaking words of wisdom, let it brie, oh yeah
Speaking words of wisdom, let it brie, oh yeah
Speaking words of wisdom, let it brie, let it brie, let it brie
Track Name: She Was Terribly Mistaken
Where you off to, now you're on your own?
If you're feeling melancholy, you shouldn't be alone
I thought it was a comedy until her lover died
Have a tissue, dry your eyes

The witty anti-hero was nothing like the book
He came in like Buster Keaton, but then he drank like Peter Cook
It was a tragicomic tragedy with the comedy removed
Herman Munster would approve

If you're still upset tomorrow, there's a matinee
Burt Reynolds plays a man who drives across the USA
I've heard its central thesis fails to satisfy
But it's exceedingly unlikely that you'll cry

Oh yeah, she was terribly mistaken
She was terribly mistaken
Track Name: The Evil Vegan
The evil vegan pulls the heads off flies while no-ones looking
And the evil vegan laughs if someone dies while he is cooking

He says:
"Sometimes it's hard to be nice sometimes,
God knows it's hard to be nice sometimes"

The evil vegan loves his mum and always does the dishes
But the evil vegan finds chaos and disruption more delicious

He says:
"Sometimes it's hard to be nice sometimes,
God knows it's hard to be nice sometimes"

Is evil evil if no-one ever knows?
I dunno, I don't know
Is evil evil, if nothing ever shows?
'Cos if it isn't, the evil vegan isn't evil, he's just vegan

Sometimes it's hard to be nice sometimes
God knows, it's hard to be nice sometimes
Track Name: You're a Secretary
Your dad's on Top of the Pops
And your mum's got twenty shops
And your uncle is a NASA space crusader
Your sister's on the screen
And your brother's Charlie Sheen
And your auntie's flying spaceships for Darth Vader

But you're a secretary
You're a secretary
And I'm a secretary too, oh look at you

Your friends are heads of banks
And your son is Shabba Ranks
And your daughter is the future queen of Spain
Your neighbour's on the moon
And your nephew makes perfume
And your niece has got the worlds most clever brain, all the same

You're a secretary
You're a secretary
I'm a secretary too

You're a secretary
You're a secretary
I'm a secretary too
Track Name: I Could Have Been Prime Minister
One day I'll be chancellor
I'll spend it all on cups of tea
The boffins at the treasury
Will look at me aghast
They'll debate my failing policy
On Channel 4 and ITV
The dandies at the BBC
Will look at me and laugh

Oh what a terrible shame
I could have been Prime Minister
Oh such a terrible shame
I could have been Prime Minister

One day I'll be chancellor
I'll speak in abstract poetry
The terrified Home Secretary
Will look and me and cry
I'll turn up with no trousers on
And work out all the numbers wrong
As honest as the day is long
On winter nights I'll lie

Oh what a terrible shame
I could have been Prime Minister
Oh what a terrible shame
I could have been Prime Minister
Oh what a terrible shame
I could have been Prime Minister
Oh such a terrible shame
I could have been Prime Minister

Oh such a terrible shame
I could have been Prime Minister
Oh what a terrible shame
I could have been Prime Minister
But I never, never, never, never, never. never wanted the job
No I never, never, never, never, I never wanted the job
Yeah I never, never, never, never, never. never wanted the job
Oh I never, never, never, never, never. never wanted the job
Track Name: When You Least Expect It
I'll see you again, when you least expect it
Standing in your local holding two jugs of beer
With a grin from ear to ear, oh, I'll be welcomed like a poorly timed bronx cheer
Smelling just the same

I'll see you again, when you least expect it
Standing in your kitchen holding two cups of tea
Cracked, dirty porcelain for you
While Fulham play away for me

Aa-ah

Close your eyes and count to three
Open wide, surprise, it's the man you least expected to see!

Yeah, I'll see you again, when you least expect it
Counting all the ways we think that we might have changed
Why do you always look the same?
In your absence, you age within my brain

Aa-ah

Close your eyes and count to three
Open wide, surprise, it's the man you least expected to see!
Track Name: I Can Help You Claim Your Tax
Hold your ironing boards,
Non sequiturs are coming back
I walk through Yorkshire
Avoiding terrierist attacks

But I can help you claim your tax
Until the feeling's gone
I can help you claim your tax

The cat was barking
As the dog began to pur
The cows, they all wear leather
But the mink, they all wear fur

But I can help you claim your tax
Until the feeling's gone
I can help you claim your tax
Well I hope it never goes!

Oh yeah, that's how it always is
Well I hope it never goes
Oh yeah, that's how it always is

Hold your astrolabe
The renaissance it's a-coming back
Well they call it wisdom
But it sounds like random crap

And I can help you claim your tax
Until the feeling's gone
I can help you claim your tax
Well I hope it never goes!!

Oh yeah, that's how it always is
Well I hope it never goes
Oh yeah, that's how it always is
Oooooooooooooh
Track Name: You Loved The Sun
You loved the sun
And when you found a patch
You'd lie and sleep for hours
Feeling the sun
As it warmed you
And your dreams of things that I could never know

I was young and you were young as well
Now I'm older, you're no longer here

You loved the chair
That you'd rest upon
And ponder things for hours
Then when you'd wake
And you'\d raise your head
Peer out the window at your whole life

Things you loved would change and move around
Then they'd vanish and you'd wonder why

I listen for your footsteps
As you're coming up the stairs
A reflection in the window
But you're no longer there

There came a time
when I moved away
And saw you less and less
Near the end
I would hold you but it hurt
And you were too tired to complain

I never had a chance to say goodbye
But real friends never have to say goodbye

Goodbye

You loved the sun